rediscovering eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
dailies
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
-1:12 AM
its 2010 now...
time flies and finally a decade had just over..can u believe it? wat have u done ?
have u achieve something in the past 10 years? or u just walk past this 10 years?
here are some miserable feelings tat i have now in the beginning of year 2010..
i just hope and pray that God will open up ways and show me clearly where should i go.
confuseddd!!! i am very very the confusedddd....i just feel like letting all go and dun mind of anything that happen to the extend i even have the feeling tat ...i dun feel like geeting married ...n wats so good about it ? and at the same time...i myself cant imagine pauline tan would actually have this thought. i dun wan to know its whose fault. I've tried and am still trying or should i say We both are trying very hard.
At this current situation and people tat is around us,i really feel like giving up all and whatever dreams and wishes tat i used to have. Come to think of it, its all my wants. But since i am still not ready and willing to accept something lower than wat i wan...i would rather let them go. Why do i need to be so stress about it, rite?
Just wait till when i really have the ability then only go n build my dreams again. People will tell me by tat time its too late di.
I believe everyone has their life to live. There are no certain formula to live tat guarantee ur success in life. A person like me, who always follow from A-Z on wat to do to get the answer started to realize u still wont get the answer eventho u follow from the 1st step to the last step. That's another confusing part of my life. I've grown up with these teachings but actually in reality its not functional...????
Then someone say is the timing tat went wrong. Then i asked wat timing? wat tming do u think is right? everybody tells me its right...even i myself at one moment felt tat its right. But wat can i do with it? and becoz of certain deciding factors....i got to feel tat its wrong??? quite confusing rite? i also think its really confusing!!!
so now...to me is watever ...everybody just go do, think, act, say watever that they like. i'm just gona live my life and find and continue to find until i found tat something tat is really for me.
God, i really really really super duper need your help and guidance in my life. I really wan to see God's hand in my life. Help to me take the step of FAITH, go the place u wan me to go, do the things u wan me to do, even how extraordinary is it. I will do it for u, O Lord! and please take away watever things or people tat does not belong to Your will, tat is hindering me to c and hear from u, Lord...In Jesus Name, I pray, AMEN !!!
Friday, July 31, 2009
-1:18 AM
i think a diary is my best fren ever...wil never ever forget u my dear.
me, pauline tan, is officially having a big burden in my heart. i dunno wat to do..where to head off next. Can someone tell me??? i've been thinking and thinking whether should i change job anot? i need another job which pays me higher. i need another job which suits my personality. A lot of people will tell me "go into sales la...tats where u can earn money. since u can talk so well, u sure can perform".... but when i think of it, YES..indeed ..y not? but where? which field? sell what? wat is my passion? i keep thinking what do i really like and wat are my passions? or should i just hantam anything and learn from there...aarrrghhh!!!! its just too hard to decide.
Its interesting to be a designer, glamorous name! but to be in the position with the pay, i dun think it can bring me anywhere. i like the job but the pay can't sustain me. i'm looking for something more. i have my target to achieve in 2 years time. i have so many things in my mind. Therefore, when one way doesn't brings u there. Am i not suppose to find another? am i too money minded?
Am i not suppose to work towards my goal? where can i get my next inspiration? all the while, i can say God really arrange and bless me with all the plans arranged for me. when i finish one, next will b ready for me to pick it up. now i felt that i'm really lost. RIGHT OR LEFT? TURN OR STAND STILL? wwaaattt am i suppose to do, God?
HOW ? WHEN ? WHERE ? i need answersssssss............
Am i goin to achieve my dreams in 2 years time? or will it be longer? i really scared that it will be delay coz i really dun c it comin. dunno y ....just dun have the confidence that it will happen. HELP ME, GOD !!!
the above matters had already been in my mind for quite a few months already and it had really bothers me and i cant really sleep well becoz of it. how? i really wan to sleep...i really need a break to think !!!!! THINK !!!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
-1:38 AM
